You can’t express emotions? Now you will !
You can’t express emotions?
You must have thought about this in some phase of your life. Well easier said than done – it is really important to express our feelings in real time.
If we ignore them or burry them deep inside , its still remains a part of us that too for a long time. It starts affecting us in very peculiar way like having heavy head, upset stomach. We may even vent our frustration over polite people.
No matter how much we try to hide our unexpressed emotion it becomes bigger and stronger to be expressed.
Finally when the expression takes place it is pretty loud. The very next moment or day we realize that may be we over reacted. And again we enter the circle of feeling guilty and not expressing that as well.
It goes on as a never ending loop and we keep on doing and feeling the same painful emotions again and again.
We have the power to change it. Change it for once and start life with a clean slate. Having no big bags of burden to carry forward.
Amy had this problem of putting all her unexpressed emotions in some corner of her brain. Telling herself to ignore situations made her think she will move on. But what actually was happening ? She used to forget the problems but the feeling which was generated out of the emotion was becoming stronger.
One day a friend contradicted amy’s plan of action to start a cake bakery store. Amy shouted and almost ended her friendship. Future proved her friend right and the plan failed.
Over the years Amy use to think she does good to all but why bad things happen to her. But first time she realised that 6 months ago her friend had criticized her plan. Rather than finding the problem Amy had disgraced her in front of others.
She realized how her heavy brain was not able to understand the situation the way it really was. But was overpowered by her perception. This perception was made by putting all the unexpressed emotions inside by not talking to anyone about it. This lead to interpreting the things in a wrong way by not understanding the other side of the story.
Amy was lucky to find her core factor which was pulling her to explore the world.
Going to the basic we as human has a social need. We want to be social to talk and express our emotions. To be a part of a group or a team. To be recognized as a particular identity.
Why we do not Express our true emotions?
- We fear that we will be judged.
- We make standard for ourselves and are not sure whether we are doing right or wrong.
- Showing a perfect personality to others.
- We think that by expressing what’s inside us will hurt others and will affect relationship with them. But in long run when those people come to know the real us that is the time when the relationship is crowded with distrust.
Our expression of true words is much more important than the clothes we wear; the personality we carry.
How to help yourself to express your emotions?
Keep on decreasing the communication gap
Once a communication gap is made in a relationship it always widens. It is very difficult to gain the trust again and start thinking positively. We need to understand this and remember that- one fault of a person makes us forget hundreds of his good deeds.
Our subconscious mind is designed in a way that it focuses more on negativity rather than counting the good acts.
The first step is to find out that the communication gap is about to start. That is the point where we have to intervene and start talking.
It’s okay to fight or to ask why. Keeping the turmoil inside will only hamper the relationship in the nearby future.
Wish people on their special days
You really want to revive a bored or old relation. It is sweet when you wish the others on their special day like birthdays, anniversary or accomplishments. This let other person know that you are available and you care for them. Once they start expressing and opening up with you it becomes easier for you to express to them.
Try giving a helping hand to others in need
Helping others gives a very positive and satisfactory feeling. We feel happy from inside when the other person thanks us by heart. Remember the day when someone really was thankful to you? See you remember it till today and you also remember the person.
Give yourself “me time”
“Me time” should be used to analyze how you felt the entire day. Expression of your feelings will start when you will exactly know what are you feeling and what was its source.
Take me time as rebooting yourself when you are overloaded with things. You know you need it when you get an idea that you are disconnected with your inner self.
There are many people including me who try to stay alone and silent when they are sad or angry. On the contrary it is better to vent your frustration in a constructive way. As we know that our subconscious mind exaggerate the negative thoughts. The problem is not that big that it cannot be solved.
So it’s OK to cry or vent your frustration on someone and after that making up for it. Once we are clean from inside we can discuss the problem to find a solution rather than waiting our mind to convert the problem into frustration.
Make a will to just say “Hi”, Start Small
Start is always difficult. But once you say the first word of what you are felling things start coming naturally.
Constructively think how you want to portray your emptions to others.
For example : if you felt bad of what the other person said to you. Try to start the conversation with the good things what he/she have done before. This is always a risk free strategy.
If you want to express your love to someone. Start with telling your likings in a person. Give them an idea about how you feel with them rather than just saying the golden words “I love you”. Using words like i adore you, you inspire can do the trick. If it is difficult for us, it is difficult for the other person as well to express what’s really inside.
You feel guilty and fear saying sorry. Then text it. Write it on paper and give it. Make sure your message is read though.